10 things nobody tells you
Pregnancy is undoubtedly a life-changing part of anyone’s life and like all things in life, everyone’s experience is different. But hand on heart I can say that feeling your baby kick for the first time is one of those moments where time really does stand still. But amongst the highs, there’s some symptoms you can experience that leave you feeling quite far from that ‘pregnancy glow’.
I was quite troll like during my pregnancy to be honest – sweaty, hair and angry.
So here’s my ‘top 10’ things nobody tells you when you’re expecting…
1. MORNING SICKNESS
I still do not know why this is called morning sickness when it is in fact, morning, noon and night sickness. And ginger beer. No thanks – don’t want it near me when I’m not pregnant, never mind when I’m pregnant. (Tip another mum told me: Dry crackers – take some to bed with you. I used to nibble on one when I woke up as I would always feel worse first thing. Wild times having a cracker in bed each morning).
2. PREGNANCY RAGE
I don’t think I can actually put this into words but pregnancy rage is real. It’s the REAL DEAL. I would mostly get rage at my husband and I honestly thought I would explode some days – over absolutely nothing. But at the time it was EVERYTHING. So partners if you are reading this. DO NOT ARGUE BACK. DO NOT SAY I THINK YOU’RE BEING UNREASONABLE. WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING? I THINK YOU’RE SLIGHTLY OVER-REACTING. WHY ARE YOU IN A MOOD ALL THE TIME? I REALLY THINK YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN. Just let your pregnant partner lose her shit over the most trivial of things – just step back and feed her chocolate. (Fun fact – When I was pregnant with Rafe, I also got rage at McDonald’s when they didn’t serve me my breakfast hash browns quick enough so I wrote a 2-page letter of complaint. Got an apology and a voucher so win win really).
3. FACIAL HAIR
Having dark hair, I’ve always been partial to a bit of a tash but I had some delightful hairs on my chinny chin suddenly appear when I was pregnant. Hormones apparently. And hate to break it to you – the facial hair stays. Yummy mummies all round!
4. I’M BRINGING SWEATY BACK
For me, pregnancy was less glow and more sweat. Especially extra boobie sweat – so yeah, full on glamour-puss I was.
5. PEOPLE TOUCH YOU MORE AND ARE OPENLY OFFENSIVE
So apparently when you’re pregnant a) strangers can touch your stomach and comment on your bump as much as they want b) People can be openly offensive to you and it’s ok. ‘YOU’RE SO BIG! IS IT TWINS?! YOU’RE MASSIVE! WHAT - YOU’VE GOT 5 MONTHS LEFT! I WAS TINY COMPARED TO YOU. Erm, thanks.
6. SWOLLEN VAGINA
Probably too much information but I’ve just told you I had sweaty boobs so one side affect (for some) can be a swollen lady garden. All about increased blood flow during pregnancy apparently. It was particularly bad if I’d been on a long walk. I’d literally end up walking like John Wayne – fun times.
7. HORMONES ARE MENTAL
As pregnancy rage proves, emotions can be all over the place. Probably not the best example but we watched a film about a dog that kept dying and coming back to life and I literally lost it. Was hyperventilating through the whole film. So yeah, you’ll probably cry a bit more.
So that pregnancy glow could be embarrassment from letting off more trumps than normal. This is because your body produces higher levels of the hormone progesterone – who knew?
9. MATERNAL INSTINCT
For me, this started from the moment I found out I was pregnant. You become so in-tune with your baby and body – you just get a feeling if something isn’t quite right. Always, ALWAYS speak to a midwife, even if your concern may seem small, they’d much rather you rang them than not. Trust your instincts.
10. UNSOLICITED ADVICE
People can be amazing during pregnancy and offer you some great advice, the kind of advice you really need for reassurance or to just know you're not alone. But equally, they can inadvertently make you feel like poo. Someone told me when I was pregnant to just put some people’s advice in the fuck it bucket! And don’t compare yourself to other people, your experience is your own.
So yeah - I was just a delight really. But honestly – I would do it all again in a heartbeat. (Husband just three-wheeling out the drive now). Those first kicks outweigh any extra hairs on your chin though.
Till next time,
Royal Marine Wife. Mum to Rafe.