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Week 29 postpartum: Reality check. Saggy boobs. Poorly baby.

4/28/2018

8 Comments

 
It’s a sobering reminder your body has gone south (quite literally) since having a baby when you catch yourself in a car window and it’s not a stretch of the imagination to think you could do knees up with your own saggy ass boobs. Just as I’ve written about mourning your old life – I most definitely mourn my pre-baby body. Some days I don’t care that my hips are still so wide I can’t get my skinny jeans over them - or my boobs look like spaniel ears. I know I am incredibly lucky. I never forget that. But other times I catch a glimpse of myself in a car window and I get a bit upset. And I look at photos of my body before Rafe and I think I’ll never look like that again. I know I'm not overweight but its just things aren't quite in the right place anymore. I know some women snap back into shape after giving birth, some without needing to do much, some have to try a lot harder, some never lose a lot of the weight. And some look better after baby. I guess I naively thought that I would bounce back - but my hips don't lie. It’s undeniable it’s incredible to be pregnant and have a baby. But at the same time - wouldn’t mind my boobs back. Or for my tummy to not look like a bag of sand.
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My heart.
So after the window reflection incident and mini meltdown, I went for my first run in a long time with my friend and was close to needing an ambulance. But it’s a start. I just go through stages of really wanting to get back into running and doing more exercise. To then not caring and eating a full pack of custard creams. I just do miss being fit and being able to run without passing out. I think what I need is a goal. So I’m going on my first proper girls' night at the end of June to Bongo Bingos in Newcastle (I am so excited!) and I'd rather not wear a nursing top or need to worry about giving myself a black eye with my spaniel ears while dancing. So I’m thinking of aiming to get comfortably into one of my favourite dresses. To be able to catch my reflection in the mirror and not cry. (Slightly dramatic I know.) So I’m going to try and start running more – maybe download a fitness app that I’ve been threatening to do for months and not empty the biscuit tin everyday. I've already started on the biscuit tin this morning so I’ll let you know how I get on...Has anyone got a recommendation for a good fitness app?
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Rafe has been poorly this week and we actually had to take him to hospital just to get checked over. He’s just got a cold and a cough which was the GP’s main concern. I think with his heart, he was just being extra cautious sending him to get checked out by a paediatrician, but he’s just got a vital infection. He’s fine within himself really, just sounds horrendous when he coughs and was a little worrying having to be at hospital again but he's a little champ and feeling better!
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He’s been a bit off his food (not milk) so when I tried doing more baby-led weaning the other day (porridge fingers) he wasn’t a fan. And basically the dog had porridge for breakfast as it all ended up on the floor. Think I’ll just stick with the purée for now and when he’s better start him on more finger foods. It’s difficult as I feel like I know how much he’s getting when he’s having what I make purée wise for him and I don’t feel like he’d actually eat much if he was feeding himself, but know they say milk is still the most important food for now. Who knows? It's a minefield. Will just do a bit of trial and error for now and my dog will continue to hoover up any food going spare.
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Nap update: Still a 30 minute King and now he can take up to half and hour to fall asleep in the pushchair so I am basically walking 500 miles a day to get him to sleep. So winning on the nap front as always!

Best go. My husband is really hungover so I need him to feel the rage.

​Faye x

P.s Sorry if I haven't replied to any messages - will do so ASAP!
8 Comments
Sarah
4/29/2018 04:45:19 am

Hi Faye,

Thank you for your honesty here! I’m on the same boat at 6 months PP and anytime I moan about my body I feel guilty because I know how lucky I am to have my wee boy! It can be really depressing though. I was sure I’d be back in my pre-pregnancy clothes by now but I’ve just had to buy new ones and accept my body has changed. Now I’ve stopped breastfeeding it’s nice to wear an underworld bra again though!

I’ve been running again this last month using a running buggy and although I feel better for it I’ve not had any weight loss. It could be down to the fact I’m only doing tiny distances because my fitness has gone to pot but it’s downheartning when you start exercising again and eating well(ish) and still can’t lose that baby weight! I guess it’ll just take time!

Also, the dreaded 30 minute nap rules my life!

Thanks again xx

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Ashleigh
4/29/2018 05:20:23 am

Bongo bingo looks really good. Everyone went last week in Newcastle and I got offered a ticket on the day and had no milk expressed! So I'm determined to go at some point! I see your little one is sitting up , does he sit for long uassistant . My sons 30 weeks and only sits a few minutes unattended x

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Becca
4/29/2018 06:19:55 am

PT in my pocket is a fab app by the HIIT mum. It's all bodyweight hiit workouts which she talks you through. I'm hoping to use it again in a few weeks. Xx

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Rachael
4/29/2018 11:05:46 am

You could actually be writing about me right now! My little girl is 29 weeks tomorrow and I’m struggling with the changes in my body. I’m still living in maternity leggings and nursing tops and have a little cry whenever I go shopping! Also did my first exercise this week and was shocked by my lack of fitness so I’ve hidden all the biscuits and chocolate in the house. Thank you for writing your blog, it lifts my spirits to know I’m not the only one in this position!

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Faye Copp
4/29/2018 11:26:30 am

Thank you Sarah - it's also good for me to know that I'm not the only one who is struggling with my body changes. You're right about the guilt - I know I'm so lucky to be able to have carried a child but I also want my body back!!! I guess it's just going to take time - and it's going to be tougher than pre-baby but it's good to know I'm not alone. I just need to put down the biscuits ? xx

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Faye Copp
4/29/2018 11:30:40 am

I know - I'm excited!! Not so much for the potential hangover. ? If Rafe is distracted - so at a baby class, TV on or in his little sit up ring with loads of toys, he can sit up for a decent time. But sometimes he on my lasts a couple of minutes too. We got the below product that is great as when we have it as the full circle, we put loads of toys in with him and he sits well and is supported if he falls back or wants to lean back. xx

http://www.argos.co.uk/product/7072639

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Faye Copp
4/29/2018 11:31:50 am

Thank you Becca - I'll have a look! xx

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Faye Copp
4/29/2018 11:35:11 am

I am so glad I'm not the only one still living in maternity leggings! I literally don't know what I'd do without them. I also can't believe how unfit I am and it does get me upset. I really need to hide the biscuits and chocolate too!! Thank you for reassuring me I'm not the only one struggling with the changes in my body xx

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    Royal Marine Wife. Mum to Rafe.

    Disclaimer: I swear. 

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