Why do people say “I slept like a baby” meaning they had a wonderful night’s sleep? When what that really means is, take two hours to go to sleep, every time you are put down, you wake, yet miraculously fall asleep when in someone’s arms. You need shushed, sang to, swayed up and down, until eventually you go to sleep after almost breaking your mum’s back as you are a ton weight. You then wake a couple of hours later and want feeding. But then flat out refuse to go back to sleep for FOUR HOURS. Even with more nursing, swaying, singing, shushing, ignoring, praying PLEASE GO TO SLEEP, nursing, swaying, singing, shushing, until eventually, when it hits 4am, you crash out next to your mum, who is hovering on the edge of a King-size bed in the most uncomfortable position, scared to move but so thankful for a little bit more sleep. Then you wake an hour later, bright as a button, like you’ve had 12 hours sleep. While your mum looks a scarecrow. Oh and then repeat the process every night. So to the pregnant me, almost a year ago, reading a lovely baby book about the ‘dream’ routine between 6-12 months where baby will finally sleep through the night. IT IS A LIE. THEY NEVER ACTUALLY SLEEP. And you will still look like the bird lady from Home Alone 2 almost a year down the line. So yeah, it’s been a rough week….Who needs sleep anyway? (She says sobbing in the corner, cradling wine).
So yeah, there’s a sleep regression at this age. Brilliant. But as someone said: “when are they ever not in a sleep regression?!” It’s been a mix of horrendous nights – to ‘okay’ nights, to one night where he seemed to have turned a new leaf – but then back to square one. It does make me laugh when I think back to those early months and I thought of the 12-month mark being the holy grail – where baby would have been sleeping through the night by now and I’d be fresh as a daisy. Finally looking alive – with two eyebrows. But no. One eyebrow is my look now. Do babies actually ever sleep through? Is this just a myth to keep pregnant women blissfully unaware of the amount of coffee they will need to survive a day?
I’ve been trying out different foods for Rafe this week (thank you for all the recomendations!) – but the majority have ended up on the floor. But going to keep persevering... Someone suggested muffins (I actually baked!) but he gave most to the dog. I think he is actually testing me as he keeps looking at me, putting his hand out - then dropping the food with a smirk on his face. The little sh..tinker. But hopefully I'll have more success this week - if not, I'll happily eat all the muffins in one go.
We had more success at nursery this week. Although I was dreading going and he clung to my arm and cried when I had to leave - which was horrific. But about an hour later I received a photo of him playing with a musical instrument, saying he had settled. I fully expected I'd have to pick him up early again, but the little dude went a full day! When I picked him up, the staff said he had been great. Not overly fussy on food (apart from snacks…) and had one nap (standard) but had been full of smiles and been quite happy most of the day. So that was a huge relief. It’s just going to take time but I’m hoping it will get easier as the weeks go on. My friend reassured me when she told me her friend’s little girl would scream when her mum left but now she cries when she has to leave nursery! They like to keep us on our toes don’t they?
As Rafe is almost one (again – how did this happen?) I’ve been thinking more about my blog. I never expected I would still be writing – and people still reading! So thank you. It’s been such an amazing experience for me, to know that other people are going through exactly the same – and of course all the advice I have been given has been incredible. The idea was to do a week by week account postpartum – but when he hits one, I guess I just need to know people will still be interesting in reading? I don’t know whether to change the format a little, as may not be able to write a blog post every week, but have more daily photos (like my Instagram page) and what I have shared a bit more his week? As well as a weekly/two weekly post that either is on a theme? Or on my challenges of the week? What do you all think?
Best be off, coffee to drink, baby to shush, husband to hate.
Till next time…
Royal Marine Wife. Mum to Rafe.