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Week 43 postpartum: The return of cot parties. Do babies ever sleep?

8/4/2018

12 Comments

 
So I thought it was only fair that because my last blog post detailed the ‘red rage/ARE YOU A REAL PERSON?’ moments we have to deal with daily from our partner’s, that I would ask my husband to see if there was anything that I did that may have annoyed him. Well at first he didn’t get back to me for a while and I thought – fantastic, I’m obviously not annoying at all. Then War and Peace came. Okay. Not quite – but a few...
• “It’s fine – I’ll do it. Like I always do.” (This was in relation to getting Rafe to sleep but to be fair – my husband was faffing around.)
• Wanting to know every detail about something: “Who is going to be there? What time are we going?” “What are we doing after?” “What are you wearing?” “Are they bringing their kids?” (It’s called being organised love.)
• Constantly changing your mind. (Because I have a million things on my mind!)
• Built up anger being directed towards me, when I’ve done nothing wrong. (Might you have done something wrong?)
• Being treat like a child. And spoken to like one. With zero manners and a rude attitude. (I know what you’re thinking, HE IS A LUCKY GUY...)
• Contradicting yourself, then doing something that suits you at the time, but having a go at me for doing the same thing. (I don't know what you mean.)
• Putting your handbag on the kitchen bench. It’s a food preparation counter. (Oh, okay, sorry Chef!)
• Going from level 0 to 1 billion rage over nothing. (Hormones darling.)
​And on an even brighter note. After being slightly ecstatic last week that Rafe’s sleep seemed to have got better – HELLO OLD RAFE. WELCOME BACK. 3AM COT PARTIES ARE NOW MY LIFE. Like seriously. Mum to mum here: Do babies/toddlers ever sleep through the night? Is this a myth? Will I honestly ever sleep again? Please send wine. And coffee. And more coffee. And wine.
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So last week, I honestly thought we had turned a corner sleep wise (not naps, we are still a 30-minute King but I’m not stressing about them anymore…damn you naps) as he was just waking up once, having a feed and going straight back down. I wasn’t having to re-settle him and I could put him down half-asleep and he would be fine - was it just too good to be true? The past week he has been difficult to put down - like the good old days. Yet he doesn’t want holding. Does not want me to put him down. Does not want to be in his sleeping bag. Does not want me to sing to him (Why he would not want to hear my angelic voice I don’t know). And I’d say like clockwork when I do get him down eventually, he wakes up within 30-minutes again and screams till I go cuddle him. And then the cot parties have started again. The other night it was from 1-3am. On Thursday night, he wouldn’t go back down at 10pm and I had to feed him to sleep – he normally feeds midnight at the earliest. And then he woke at 5am and I had to cuddle him to sleep. The other night at 4am, I tried just bringing him into my bed but he just repeatedly slapped me in the face and pulled my hair so that was a joy. I dare google ‘10-month sleep regression’. I’m hoping it’s may be just leap related. And it’s fine – only 24 days left of this leap. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. HELP.
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Rafe’s still being a bit fussy food wise and I don’t know whether just to stick to what I know he likes for now – or experiment more and try him with different things? I still worry I’m not giving him enough but then I just think I’m following his lead – he is eating what he wants and lets me know when he's full and he’s actually an absolute chunk so I think he’s doing okay! As he’s approaching 10-months, I don’t know whether I need to drop a feed completely and replace with a snack. Help! So at the moment this is our little routine roughly:
7am: Breastfeed
8am: Breakfast
11am: Breastfeed
12.30pm: Lunch
3pm: Formula (Sometimes he takes 7oz, other times hardly anything. Can still be quite fussy and wants boob – or just doesn’t want much.)
4.30pm: Tea
6pm: Breastfeed
Always feel like I’m stocking him up – but he still seems to want the same amount of feeds – well definitely the breastfeeds (still has one through the night). I don’t know whether to replace the morning or afternoon milk with a snack? What is everyone else’s routine for 10-month-old?
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Speaking of routines, I got a text (does anyone else hear someone from Love Island saying this now?!) from the nursery manager this week to let me know I can ring anytime with any questions (he goes in September for one day a week) and to also bring a written routine on his first day. I literally wanted to cry. I know I’ve been massively reassured from other mums about leaving him, but still feeling emotional about it. Have two weeks left of maternity leave (where has the time gone? I swear I only told work I was pregnant yesterday) so trying to make the most of it. I’ve been able to request to work my hours over four days, which I feel very lucky about. And also, the majority of my work, is remote-working. Which again I feel lucky as I won’t have to be rushing out the door. (I wouldn’t be able to look after Rafe and work from home. I’m writing/interviewing people all day and the only distraction I will be able to deal with is the biscuit tin). As well as thinking about getting into work-mode again, I’m a little worried about the cabin fever setting in. Before Rafe, I got cabin fever being in the house all day working (was used to being in a busy newsroom) but I was lucky as I could just take the dog out in the evening – and my husband was around quite a bit then but I think when you become a mum, one of the things I have struggled with is the cabin fever. Almost feeling slightly isolated if you haven’t been able to get out the house. But I shouldn’t complain as I know it could be a million times harder and I could be rushing out the door every day. Just going to take time to get used to the new routine and it will all work out I’m sure.

On that note. I need a fucking coffee!
​
Faye x

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Cuteness overload!!!!
12 Comments
Fay
8/4/2018 11:45:47 pm

Me again...

I don't think William (43 weeks tomorrow) will ever sleep through the night. Ever.

He always wakes about 50 mins after I first put him down and then is awake about 4 times between 11 and 6. It's such fun.

I go back to work in September and I honestly don't know how I'll manage on such little sleep.

He occasionally goes to one wake up a night and I'm like 'yes we have cracked it' rather than the reality of it which is: 'this is just a phase'.

Never thought I would be delighted by waking up once in the night but oh my god I crave those nights.

Fx

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Faye
8/16/2018 05:39:08 am

I have no idea what has happened to my comments - I thought I had replied - apologises!

I'm totally the same! One wake up is the absolute dream. If that happens I actually feel like a new woman! At least we know they can do it but also makes these frequent wake ups even more joyous/annoying! Hope for a better week for you, sending coffee your way x

Reply
Justine
8/5/2018 03:07:52 am

In terms of feeds/routine, my 10-month old's looks something like this (I'm not breastfeeding him anymore so all bottles are formula):

Bottle 7am
Breakfast 9am
Bottle 11am
Lunch 1pm
Bottle 3pm
Dinner 5pm
Bottle 7pm

He doesn't wake during the night so his final bottle is at 7pm before bed, the times do shift a little depending on when he naps (sorry!) and what we're doing that day. It does feel like they're constantly eating at times but he doesn't seem too bothered by the constant food train haha!

I've also started giving some bottles at the same time as his meal (if he's missed one for example or we're running a bit late etc). I used to think he'd get too full from the bottle to have any food with it but my sister pointed out that at this stage it's more like them having a cuppa with their meal and it seems to go down well with him :) xx

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Faye
8/16/2018 05:40:43 am

I thought I had replied - so sorry, don't know what has happened to my comments!

Thank you so much for the routine - massively helps to see what other people are doing and I feel more reassured! (Literally feel like I don't know what I'm doing still some days!) And like the having cuppa with his meal - that makes sense and don't feel like I'm tanking him up all the time! xx

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Rebecca
8/5/2018 07:10:10 am

Hi. I also thought the 'sleeping through the night' must be a myth as we average 3-4 wakes a night. Then a family member had a baby who at 6 weeks old is sleep 6 hour stretches. WTF!
My 10 month olds routine is
Wake up between 5 and 6am
Breastfeed as soon as wake up
7 am Breakfast
8ish nap
10ish bottle
12 lunch
12.30 nap
3ish bottle
5 dinner
6.30 breastfeed
7 bed

Have no idea if am doing the right thing or not just winging it!

Reply
Faye
8/16/2018 05:42:34 am

Sorry - thought I had replied - don't know what happened to my comments!

Six hour stretches at 6 weeks- what?!!! Thank you so much for the routine - massively helps to know what other people are doing. I am also just winging it too! xx

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Katie Allen
8/5/2018 01:03:45 pm

The routine I have for my (almost) ten month old is:

7.30 - wake up
8am - breakfast
10am - bottle (5oz) followed by nap (sorry....)
1pm - lunch
3pm - bottle (5oz) followed by nap (as above)
6pm - dinner
7.30 - bottle (7oz) then bed

He will then have a night feed at some point where I do another 7oz. My health visitor has said I’m doing too much milk at the minute but it’s not far off the guidelines so I’m reluctant to change (plus I’m scared it will effect sleep which is okish especially compared to what it was not that long ago). I have no idea when to fit in snacks, I think the idea would be to replace the day time feeds with snacks and then hopefully he’ll drop the night feed and then I’ll be left with one bottle at bedtime eventually but that feels far off and way too much of a battle. Hope that helps!

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Faye
8/16/2018 05:45:08 am

So sorry for late reply, been having a bit of a break with my blog. Last week on maternity leave :-(

This massively helps, thank you. I feel like Rafe is having too much milk too but he does seem to want it and isn't showing any signs of dropping a feed. Just going to play it by ear the next couple of weeks and see how he gets on! Good luck! x

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Laura Harrison
8/8/2018 12:05:38 pm

It might be worth moving his dinner back? It worked for us.

Our routine is:
7.00 - 7 oz bottle
8.00 - breakfast
9.30 - nap
11.00 - snack (he dropped this feed by himself)
12.00 - lunch
13.30 - nap
15.00 - 7oz bottle/snack (he’s starting to faff with this one too)
17.30 - dinner
18.45 - 7oz bottle
19.00 - bed

He sleeps through until 06.00/06.30 (sorry) but didn’t until I pushed his dinner back. I found that moving dinner backwards to to 17.30 really helped. I also researched foods high in tryptophan and found that chia pudding works really well to stop early morning wake ups (when the natural tryptophan is waning) xx


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Faye
8/16/2018 05:46:57 am

So sorry for late reply, been having a bit of a break with my blog. Last week on maternity leave :-( Thank you for sharing your routine. I think you're right about pushing his dinner back - and his bedtime maybe. His sleep this week has been HORRENDOUS. Going to stock up on the chia pudding!!! xx

Reply
Claire
8/9/2018 10:11:03 pm

Hi my 10 month old Rebecca’s routine pretty much stays like this:
Wake up 6:30am
7oz formula @ 7am
Breakfast 8am
Nap 9-10:30am
Lunch 11:30am
7oz formula @ 12:30pm
Nap 1:00pm- 3:30pm
Tea (when wakes up)
Formula 6:30pm
Bed 7pm

I went back to work at the end of May and Rebecca started nursery, it took a little time to get used to but she absolutely loves it ( and her routine is more stable) and I get adult conversations and hot cups of coffee 😊 Good luck and enjoy your last few weeks xx

Reply
Faye
8/16/2018 05:49:11 am

So sorry for late reply, been having a bit of a break with my blog. Last week on maternity leave :-( Thank you for sharing your routine - massively helps to see what other people are doing! I must admit I am looking forward to actual hot cups of coffee - but also really dreading go back to work. But know Rafe will be okay, just going to take a bit of time getting used to the new routine xx

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    Royal Marine Wife. Mum to Rafe.

    Disclaimer: I swear. 

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