So I thought it was only fair that because my last blog post detailed the ‘red rage/ARE YOU A REAL PERSON?’ moments we have to deal with daily from our partner’s, that I would ask my husband to see if there was anything that I did that may have annoyed him. Well at first he didn’t get back to me for a while and I thought – fantastic, I’m obviously not annoying at all. Then War and Peace came. Okay. Not quite – but a few...
• “It’s fine – I’ll do it. Like I always do.” (This was in relation to getting Rafe to sleep but to be fair – my husband was faffing around.)
• Wanting to know every detail about something: “Who is going to be there? What time are we going?” “What are we doing after?” “What are you wearing?” “Are they bringing their kids?” (It’s called being organised love.)
• Constantly changing your mind. (Because I have a million things on my mind!)
• Built up anger being directed towards me, when I’ve done nothing wrong. (Might you have done something wrong?)
• Being treat like a child. And spoken to like one. With zero manners and a rude attitude. (I know what you’re thinking, HE IS A LUCKY GUY...)
• Contradicting yourself, then doing something that suits you at the time, but having a go at me for doing the same thing. (I don't know what you mean.)
• Putting your handbag on the kitchen bench. It’s a food preparation counter. (Oh, okay, sorry Chef!)
• Going from level 0 to 1 billion rage over nothing. (Hormones darling.)
And on an even brighter note. After being slightly ecstatic last week that Rafe’s sleep seemed to have got better – HELLO OLD RAFE. WELCOME BACK. 3AM COT PARTIES ARE NOW MY LIFE. Like seriously. Mum to mum here: Do babies/toddlers ever sleep through the night? Is this a myth? Will I honestly ever sleep again? Please send wine. And coffee. And more coffee. And wine.
So last week, I honestly thought we had turned a corner sleep wise (not naps, we are still a 30-minute King but I’m not stressing about them anymore…damn you naps) as he was just waking up once, having a feed and going straight back down. I wasn’t having to re-settle him and I could put him down half-asleep and he would be fine - was it just too good to be true? The past week he has been difficult to put down - like the good old days. Yet he doesn’t want holding. Does not want me to put him down. Does not want to be in his sleeping bag. Does not want me to sing to him (Why he would not want to hear my angelic voice I don’t know). And I’d say like clockwork when I do get him down eventually, he wakes up within 30-minutes again and screams till I go cuddle him. And then the cot parties have started again. The other night it was from 1-3am. On Thursday night, he wouldn’t go back down at 10pm and I had to feed him to sleep – he normally feeds midnight at the earliest. And then he woke at 5am and I had to cuddle him to sleep. The other night at 4am, I tried just bringing him into my bed but he just repeatedly slapped me in the face and pulled my hair so that was a joy. I dare google ‘10-month sleep regression’. I’m hoping it’s may be just leap related. And it’s fine – only 24 days left of this leap. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. HELP.
Rafe’s still being a bit fussy food wise and I don’t know whether just to stick to what I know he likes for now – or experiment more and try him with different things? I still worry I’m not giving him enough but then I just think I’m following his lead – he is eating what he wants and lets me know when he's full and he’s actually an absolute chunk so I think he’s doing okay! As he’s approaching 10-months, I don’t know whether I need to drop a feed completely and replace with a snack. Help! So at the moment this is our little routine roughly:
3pm: Formula (Sometimes he takes 7oz, other times hardly anything. Can still be quite fussy and wants boob – or just doesn’t want much.)
Always feel like I’m stocking him up – but he still seems to want the same amount of feeds – well definitely the breastfeeds (still has one through the night). I don’t know whether to replace the morning or afternoon milk with a snack? What is everyone else’s routine for 10-month-old?
Speaking of routines, I got a text (does anyone else hear someone from Love Island saying this now?!) from the nursery manager this week to let me know I can ring anytime with any questions (he goes in September for one day a week) and to also bring a written routine on his first day. I literally wanted to cry. I know I’ve been massively reassured from other mums about leaving him, but still feeling emotional about it. Have two weeks left of maternity leave (where has the time gone? I swear I only told work I was pregnant yesterday) so trying to make the most of it. I’ve been able to request to work my hours over four days, which I feel very lucky about. And also, the majority of my work, is remote-working. Which again I feel lucky as I won’t have to be rushing out the door. (I wouldn’t be able to look after Rafe and work from home. I’m writing/interviewing people all day and the only distraction I will be able to deal with is the biscuit tin). As well as thinking about getting into work-mode again, I’m a little worried about the cabin fever setting in. Before Rafe, I got cabin fever being in the house all day working (was used to being in a busy newsroom) but I was lucky as I could just take the dog out in the evening – and my husband was around quite a bit then but I think when you become a mum, one of the things I have struggled with is the cabin fever. Almost feeling slightly isolated if you haven’t been able to get out the house. But I shouldn’t complain as I know it could be a million times harder and I could be rushing out the door every day. Just going to take time to get used to the new routine and it will all work out I’m sure.
On that note. I need a fucking coffee!
Royal Marine Wife. Mum to Rafe.