Hi, my name is Faye and I’m a nap-obsessed-o’holic. I think readers of my blog may have guessed I had such a condition, round about the three-four month-old mark when I was beginning to have mild palpitations questioning whether I should have a routine yet and why my baby can only nap for 30 minutes. I foolishly said I was going to be more calm and not stress about naps a couple of weeks ago when another mum gave me some great advice – but I relapsed last week when I had been walking for an hour and a half, with major sweaty under-boob and a sunburnt back, with baby still wide-awake loving life – the baby who only slept for 15 minutes that day and well, I almost shed a few fed-up tears (again). Oh and I have given up on the nap in cot situation – that ain’t never going to happen. But just as I was in full relapse, nap-obsessed-o’holic mode – another mum sent me a link to an article that quite frankly – saved my life. (Okay, slightly dramatic but it made my day). I know what you’re thinking – another article! Yes, I am aware that my google search history covers only four things: “how long can (insert month) stay awake for between naps, what is the best nap routine for () month old, how to get baby to self-settle for naps, how can you get a flat stomach and still eat your body weight in chocolate every day?” But after reading it, I feel I am no longer going to be a broken record of worrying about whether Rafe isn’t sleeping enough and may finally accept, as so many of you have been telling me – that maybe Rafe does just not need a two-hour afternoon nap, maybe he will just always be a cat-napper, I might never get to have a hot cup of tea and watch a box set while he sleeps in his cot – but at least I’m not going to stress about it anymore….Right? And quite frankly, if I read or download another sleep programme or buy another fucking white noise machine I’ll lose the plot. So basically, as you can see if you read the link, https://sarahockwell-smith.com/2017/11/01/in-defence-of-cat-naps/ my new best friend goes into detail about the benefits of a catnap – and says “If you have a cat napper, rest assured that you’re not alone and in all likelihood there is nothing wrong with your child’s sleep, even though other books and sleep trainers warn otherwise. The next time you doubt yourself and your child, remind yourself that there is no evidence behind their claims...and you are not alone!” So I’m no expert – and trust me, if Rafe suddenly starts to sleep longer and naps in his cot then I will be writing a novel about it. But I will – although I have said this a number of times. CHILL THE FUCK OUT. I’ve spent almost six months’ (I’d say the first three months of Rafe’s life I was worrying more about what the hell I was actually doing) literally obsessing about bloody naps. I’m sure I will laugh about it and kind of are now – but I’ve spent most my maternity leave, every day, worrying about how I was going to get Rafe to sleep longer, or stressing because he’s only had 30 bloody minutes. And, unless he doesn’t nap at all or only has one little nap – he seems to be okay just having his two little catnaps. And some days, when he needs it, he does sleep a little longer (35 minutes…) So, like I said, I’m no expert but if there are any other nap-obsessed-o’holic’s out there – we are in this together. If I could turn back time to five months ago, I would say to myself: Turn off google. Don’t download another fucking sleep programme. Stop buying white noise machines. Don’t compare Rafe to other babies. If he sleeps for 30 minutes, that’s better than nothing! If he has an hour – praise the Lord. Just don’t lose your flipping mind over naps. Oh and go have another biscuit. Sleeping through the night at the moment is a bit hit and miss as it’s been so hot. The other night I felt like I was abroad, yet I wasn’t in some beautiful air conditioned apartment, listening to the ocean, in a deep sleep after too many cocktails – I was in a stuffy, hot room in Whitley Bay, listening to a fan noise on a white noise machine, trying to block out the birds twerping away, while Rafe was up most the night. He is self-settling a bit better but mostly just falling asleep feeding, so ending up putting him down drowsy but he’s been doing some good little stretches – normally wakes around 12-1 for a feed and can go back down till 7. Though the other night he whinged for 2 hours before he went back to sleep. Does anyone else think the whinge is worse than a cry? And teething is in full force at the moment so we are having a few rough nights. I had to hold his hand while he fell asleep the other-night and I literally could have burst with love so it’s not all negative Nancy. Even though he’s sleeping better at times, I still wake-up feeling absolutely exhausted and in a constant state of feeling hungover. I seem to manage quite well for a few days and then day 4 I just feel absolutely cream-crackered. Yesterday I could have slept all day. Rafe had woke at 4.30am and would not settle. As I was feeding him I could smell a strong smell of poo. Wasn't Rafe. Thankfully wasn't my husband so went downstairs and Yankee had shat all over the kitchen so was cleaning poo off the floor at 5am. Nevermind. One for the memoirs. As I mentioned last week, I have dropped a couple of breastfeeds – the lunchtime feed as he’s eating three meals now (although still a bit of a fuss-pot) and then afternoon feed I’ve replaced with formula. He’s not loving it like he loves the boob, but don’t know whether he ever well. He likes lying down and feeding himself though so I guess it’s just him getting used to it. I plan to drop the mid-morning feed and replace with formula (or snack? I don’t know whether he is having too much???) over the next two weeks. Still want to keep breastfeeding but just means when I go back to work, he will have adjusted to not having breastfeeds (hopefully) during the day. Just morning, before bed and through the night. I got a bit emotional about it as it feels like such a big change, I’ve been used to feeding him myself throughout the day and although I still will be breastfeeding, I just feel like things are coming to an end. (Dramatic I know.) Maternity leave. Breastfeeding being cut down. Time has just gone far too fast and I’m trying to treasure every second (in-between the tears, mind-numbing exhaustion, husband rage and cleaning up dog shit) as I’ve suddenly blinked and Rafe is now almost 10-month’s old. He held my hand when I was breastfeeding the other night and those are the moments that make everything, even the nap nightmares, worth it and the moments I will miss so much when I stop breastfeeding. How old was your baby when they started crawling? Rafe’s just rolling all over and showing no signs of wanting to pull himself up on to furniture but you can see he is wanting to try and crawl. He keeps bringing his knees up and instead of rolling, sometimes he just rotates round in a circle but he just can’t quite work out how to crawl! I know he will just do it when he is ready but any tips on trying to help him?
Until next-time… Faye x
9 Comments
Emma
7/22/2018 02:28:44 am
Glad the article was of help....im the same with naps and it really helped me to chill :-) x
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Jenni
7/22/2018 02:47:10 am
I love reading your blog. It really put being a mummy in to perspective and makes you realise we all feel the same at some time or another!! It really is the best thing in the world but omg it’s tough at times.
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Faye Copp
7/22/2018 07:13:37 am
Honestly, that woman is my new hero haha! Deffo not as stressed. Thank you again! XX
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Fiona
7/22/2018 11:46:44 am
My little boy is 41 weeks and has just started crawling in the last 2 weeks or so. He was trying for what seemed like months then all of a sudden he’s off! He’s also pulling himself up on the furniture now within the last couple of days. Literally need eyes in the back of my head now! Also I’ve been back to work for 3 weeks now and it’s actually quite nice to be back into some sort of routine, don’t get me wrong maternity leave has been lovely but I was ready to go back! My little boy goes to nursery and although he was very unsettled to start with, he now loves it and we’ve already noticed a difference in him socially, he no longer cries when I leave the room (maybe because he just follows me! 🙈) xx
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Faye Copp
7/23/2018 03:08:17 am
Ahh, thank you! It is the best job in the world but you're right- it's flipping hard work. ? x
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Faye Copp
7/23/2018 03:09:55 am
That's so good to know! I think sometimes it's the thought of doing something that is worse - once I'm back to work and in a routine, I'm sure it will be fine. I want him to crawl but I know I'll never sit down again once he does and will need eyes in the back of my head!! x
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Courtney
7/24/2018 02:30:26 am
I felt the same about the crawling and now he can do it I'm like ahhhh no stop take me back to when he couldn't crawl !!!! So much more stressful with a baby on the move i.e. Stair gates moving everything off the tv unit and anything at his height ! Honestly enjoy the non mobile days! Haha Xxx
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Aimee
7/24/2018 02:55:19 am
I also have a cat napper, she can be holding her eyes open with matchsticks and she’ll still only have 30-40
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Faye Copp
7/30/2018 11:29:09 am
Thank you. ❤ Sounds like you're doing amazing too. Rafe has gone back to falling asleep feeding a lot and I sometimes forget that as well as milk, it's a huge comfort for them. I don't think it's possible to refuse the boob ??♀️ I would hysterically laugh too! Hope you feel less hungover this week and get some sleep - like you say, it does get better x
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