Week 31 postpartum: Wind. Naps - oh naps. Cot party.

You know you must look pretty rough when a mum at a baby class laughs hysterically, with a hint of fear, when she says her baby has slept through the night since six week's old and she doesn’t know what she’d be like if she didn’t – and you reply: “You'd look like me.” So as you can probably tell – we haven’t had major sleep breakthroughs. On the plus side I’ve walked 30 miles this week – so could pretty much eat a whole pack of custard creams every day and not feel guilty. And Rafe, although he has been having raves in his cot at 2am – he’s learnt a new skill where he presses his lips together like a fish and makes a smacking sound. So those few minutes of cuteness overload and joy outweighs the fact I probably caused a woman to have loose bladder control from laughing so much at my tired face.

We are still very much in the 30 minute nap club – and I can only can get him to sleep in the pram. I did try just letting him fall asleep in my arms and that did work after galloping up and down to rock him to sleep for half an hour but he woke up after 25 minutes and I couldn’t get him back to sleep, even though he was still tired. Another mum suggested that maybe 30 minutes is all Rafe needs and I think on some days, you can see that all he wanted and needed was a little catnap but more often than not – when he wakes up he is still so tired and is wrecked by bedtime. Or maybe I need to watch his tired cues more closely as he may be able to stretch longer than two hours between naps now. Arghh. I never thought I’d write so much about fucking naps!!! I remember reading a book when I was pregnant and it had a lovely little pie chart, detailing when baby would be awake and when baby would be asleep throughout the day. One hour in the morning, two hours over lunch – and I’d be thinking, ooh how lovely. I’ll be able to have a nap myself (when does that ever happen!), do some cleaning, a work-out, have a hot cuppa (the dream). There was no pie chart about walking 30 miles a week to get your baby to sleep – and some days he only has ten minutes. I don’t mind the exercise but I also wouldn’t mind just being able to actually sit down during the day. But hey ho. Quite a few people have suggested bringing the pram in the house so might try that. Sometimes I feel like I have tried everything from self-settling techniques, white noise, in the pram, cuddling to sleep but nothing seems to work. And I sometimes think I must be doing something wrong. I did read on a Facebook group, other mum's saying their little one's were serial cat nappers and one day they just started to sleep longer. So I live in hope. I’m also going to take people’s advice and try not to stress so much about his sleep and hopefully it will just happen naturally. I’m sure Rafe can probably sense I’m not overly relaxed when trying to get him to sleep so will try and be less Faye and more Zen like. Namaste.

His sleep through the night has been a bit of a disaster this week as still has a bit of a cough, is teething (but no tooth has popped up yet – come on fucking tooth!) and he has been so windy the last week or so. Really trapped wind and he proper cries when he lets out some big pumps. Has anyone found since introducing solids that their baby is extra pumpy? He just doesn’t seem to be able to do long stretches anymore and I’m having to settle him again before I go to bed and through the night. Also can take up to three hours to get him back to sleep - wind and he wants a cuddle. I tried the pick up put down method people have been recommending last night and was as bit of a test but he did eventually settle. Just not through the night but will persevere. But he’s just feeding once in the night now so boobies have a little break.

Rafe still flat out hates tummy time and is still not rolling over. Even though he’s done it numerous times before! Although never back to front. I think he may be a bum shuffler rather than a crawler. Does anyone else’s baby hate tummy time and is not rolling over? I do worry that he’s stopped rolling over but at the same time – he’s sitting up on his own now really well and he is little chatterbox. As I said before, he loves smacking his lips together and copies you when you do it. He’s also learnt he can grab the side of the cot and pull himself along. So it can be a bit of a party cot at night - which is very cute - but I kind of also want sleep too.

Husband’s away for a couple of weeks so it’s so hard for him being away from Rafe – I think he’s most probably relieved to be away from me though. Jokes....We are in the process of getting a mortgage and also viewing houses so it’s a bit stressful trying to sort things out without him here. Especially as I may need to make the decision on my own if I see a house I love. But he fully trusts my judgement – as I would do his....🙈 But it’s exciting – just obviously not the most chilled out person right now. If I ever am!

Hope everyone is having a good weekend and remember you’re all fucking fabulous!

Faye x