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Week 18 postpartum: Four month sleep regression continued. Fussy feeding. Mines a coffee.

2/10/2018

6 Comments

 
So if I found a magic lamp and a genie granted me three wishes, they would be:

1. To sleep
2. To sleep
3. To sleep

And if he was being generous, my fourth would be to have a body like Jenna Dewan Tatum. But we can't have it all.
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All wrapped up! ❤️
So you know when you're pregnant and you're constantly up and down weeing for England and people say it's your body's way of preparing you for losing sleep and waking up through the night? HAHAHAHAHAHA. NOTHING. NOTHING. NOTHING prepares you for this type of exhaustion. The type of exhaustion that when your husband (who is away) messages you to see how you are, you just reply two words: "I'm fucked." I used to be such a light sleeper. It was a running joke how I would need absolute silence, darkness and an eye mask and eye plugs to sleep. My husband always tells the story of when we first started going out and I would stay over. To start with, we would be pretty much drunk every night (living the dream) so I would pass out. But then, when we realised we also liked each other sober, one morning he says he woke up and started talking to me and I turned around and shouted: "WHAT?" while lifting up my eye mask and popping out my ear plugs. Maybe it's funnier when he tells it? Anyway, my point is. I don't need silence or darkness now, I genuinely think I could fall asleep standing up, at a football match at Wembley, in the day, with 50,000 people screaming. As you've probably gathered the four month sleep regression is going really well. Send coffee. Lots of it...

It's not like I was having loads of sleep beforehand. The newborn days were of course mind numbingly exhausting but as the weeks went on and the cluster feeding and hourly wake ups stopped, Rafe started giving us a few good days of long stretches of sleep - four to six hours at a time. With two feeds in the night. A couple of times only one. Which was amazing. But now, it's literally every hour. I see every hour of the clock. (Not always to feed - just needs settling.) And he's taking hours to put down after his bath and bedtime feed. So it can be - wake for a feed, feed for up to an hour, take an hour to settle and wind, then up again in an hour. Rafe used to be good (unless he had wind) of going straight back to sleep after a feed and not really waking up properly. Now it's like TING I'm wide awake at 3.30am. He's smiling away which is cute - but it would be cuter if he slept. During the day it's disaster nap after disaster nap - with the odd few successes where he's had okay naps. (Still 30 minute naps.) But few and far between. I guess we just have to ride the storm until this phase passes but it's, as I said last week - fucking emotional.
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❤️
His fussiness during his feeds during the day (great at night) are at a whole new level. Please tell me I'm not the only one? Just coming on and off, on and off. I have bought a teething necklace recommended by someone after my last post (thank you!) so hopefully that will help - will let you know. Trouble is, I don't think he's emptying my breasts properly sometimes as I actually had a swollen lymph gland under my armpit this week. I didn't feel ill, or have any signs of mastitis so just massaged it and put heat on it, which seemed to have helped it go down. Any one else had this? He's also started literally almost ripping my nipple off when he's finished feeding too so that's fun!

Rafe is supposed to make leaps and bounds in his development these next few weeks but in some respects I feel like has stalled. He used to love rolling on to his side and trying to do a full roll, but seems to have totally lost interest. Which is normal at this stage apparently. Yet he is kicking and punching like he is going to take off and is even more active. He's always been quite vocal but now it's like he is having a conversation with you and is making gaa and goo sounds which is proper cute. So I guess he's changing and developing in different ways. So although these few weeks are a challenge - hearing him chat away makes it worth it. Kind of....
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Dude.
So, it's lent next week so I have vowed to give up biscuits and chocolate. Okay maybe just chocolate or....shall I just give up biscuits? Or just try not to eat a whole biscuit tin every day? (Deciding what to try and not shovel in my face for six weeks reminds me of when my mum said she was going to give up cereal bars for lent!! 🤣 Okay mum, I’m going to give up seeds....) I'll let you know how I get on....I also really want to try and get fit again. I saw a photo of Jenna Dewan Tatum (Channing Tatum's wife) the other day and I almost cried. I'm not overly bothered(ish) about my weight. I guess it's just about doing something for me again. And plus it's my two year wedding anniversary in March and I wouldn't mind losing a few pounds so if we do go out and I don't have a baby attached to my boobs - I might look almost human - less saggy potato sack. Will need to take a lawnmower to my legs and get rid of my beard too - but let's take it one step at a time. I'm going to download Emily Skye's app too, so let's see how I get on....

And finally, in my sleep deprived state I have been extra emotional. I saw this poem and obviously lost it. Thought I'd leave it with you all to read/lose it too.

Faye x
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6 Comments
Jess
2/11/2018 05:07:54 am

I have a 17 and half week old little boy also...I am currently sat at he top of the stairs willing he would go back to sleep from his nap. (Wishful thinking I’m sure I can hear him as I type) just letting you know I am totally with you. My husband is also away for 9 days skiing - and my reply is pretty much he same. How dare he!! I am longing for even just 2 or 3 wake ups in the night again that would be bliss. And really envy those mumsa round me with little ones of the same age who are sleeping. But let’s remember everything is a phase (hopefully?!) ahhhh he’s grunting now probably wants more boob yay! My advice after having the same thoughts re lent - don’t do it! Those biscuits and chocolate are our sanity! We need them. I wish i liked coffee! Keep up the amazing job super mum. I’m right beside you x

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Faye
2/12/2018 12:46:50 pm

Haha, everyone keeps saying do not give up the chocolate and biscuits!! I've just eaten my body weight in both today to 'prepare' myself. I'm sure I'll last a day ? As much as I want your little one to sleep - it is so good to hear from people going through the same thing so I don't feel as alone. What is sleep? But you're right - it's a phase - it is a phase - we can do this. You're doing an amazing job love xx p.s good luck and get your skiing holiday booked!

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Bex
2/12/2018 06:05:11 am

Thank you so much for writing these posts! My baby is 2 days younger than Rafe and we are going through EXACTLY the same. I have been googling everything about naps, but after reading your blog and the comments from other mums, I’ve closed all the websites and just going with it! Trying to get into a routine is just too stressful at the moment... going to read more of your posts and eat biscuits (quietly as baby has actually fallen asleep, but on me, so I’m afraid to move!!).
Definitely don’t give up chocolate or biscuits!!!!!

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Faye
2/12/2018 12:51:54 pm

I think I'm going to have to rethink this giving up chocolate crap now!!🤣 Maybe I'll give up cereal bars like my mum?! I was obsessed with googling about naps and routine but like you, seeing other mums comment made me feel (slightly) less mad about it all. Tip is not to stress out but easier said than done! Enjoy the rest of my posts and get that packet of biscuits sorted! I've just got Rafe down so fingers crossed for a good night for us both xxx

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Rachel
2/12/2018 12:35:30 pm

I could have written this post myself! My 21 week old baby girl has been waking every 1 -2 hours (or more!) since the start of January. Blooming sleep regression - no one warns you about this! You have just begun to celebrate getting 4-6 hours of sleep, feeling human again and perhaps a little smug (karma is a you know what!) and this monster sleep deprivation hits! Well done you for even considering giving up chocolate and biscuits for lent - they’re my survival aids at the moment!

Reply
Faye
2/12/2018 12:54:02 pm

I think I'm going to have to carry on the biscuit tin survival mode...will see how I get on. Don't think I'll last long!! Start of January 😩 Sending coffee and hugs. Hope you get a decent few hours sleep soon. 🤞 Good luck!!! xx

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    Royal Marine Wife. Mum to Rafe.

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