Hope everyone had an amazing New Year! My husband cooked a lovely meal and I was in bed by 9.30pm. We said Happy New Year while my husband changed Rafe's nappy before the first night feed. So very rock and roll. As with every New Year, all the resolutions come out. Except mine have been going on for weeks. Every day I say, today I will go for a run, I will do 'proper' exercise. Or today I will wash and straighten my hair, today I won't wear the same nursing top and will pluck my eyebrows and look presentable. When I was pregnant and I remember thinking once baby comes I'll be exercising every day, fitting in a workout whenever I could - okay love, you do that. It’s funny how you think you're going to be as a mum when you're pregnant compared to the reality. I thought being pregnant was hard but sweet Jesus nothing compares to these first few months. Hats off to those mums’ who head to the gym and look half human - I just don't know how you do it. Some days I can't have a poo in peace - never mind having time to go to the gym. Also I still feel like my uterus is going to fall out if I do more than a slow walk. But in the spirit of New Year's resolutions I've been adamant this week to go for a run and to not look like a mess of a woman with a monobrow. So I got up yesterday in my normal exhausted state, peeling my eyes open but I tried to be positive - I can do this I thought! So I washed my hair with conditioner first so that was a good start. Couldn't find tweezers. Didn't have time to do my hair so just put in French plaits. Put on a new nursing top, rather than old one (winning) but couldn't bring myself to wear jeans so hello maternity leggings - again. As the day went on and the rain pelted down and exhaustion really kicked in - was I really going to go for a run later? Was I shite. I ate chocolate fudge cake and almost a full pack of biscuits instead. I'll start on Monday.
So what else have I done this week? Braved soft play for the first time. SEND FOR HELP.
“Welcome to hell,” my friend said as I made my way through soft play during the school holidays. Children everywhere. Screaming children everywhere. Excited, screaming children everywhere. Excited, screaming, snotty children everywhere. Excited, screaming, snotty children charging around everywhere. No escape. Pure carnage. Even in the baby area you weren't safe from the 'bigger children' who were ready to invade. Lucky for me I had my no bullshit friend with me who told them politely to go away. Is this my life now? I laughed at how much our lives had changed. One day you're sneaking into bars in Whitley Bay at 16 and drinking 20/20 - the next minute you're sniffing your child's bum to see if they have pooed. "Can we please go out and get mortal soon?" "We are ready when you are." See nothing's really changed....Just will avoid 20/20 and won't be looking for Sixth Form boys. Although I think a bottle of 20/20 would help me get through one hour at soft play....
Rafe slept from 8pm to 3.30am the other night. This is not me gloating - this is me sharing my joy, shock, disbelief. I remember when Rafe was a few days old and he was cluster feeding through the night and I got a solid two hours sleep and I felt amazing. I got around 5 hours straight that night so I felt like a new woman. Although I must say I didn't maximise his 7-hour stretch. I woke up at 2.30am in pain. FUUUCCCKKKK MY BOOBS!!!! They felt like they were going to explode. He still wasn't awake so I had to hand express a little into a nappy to relieve the pressure. I say into a nappy but it was dark and when I turned the lamp on it was all over my pj bottoms so looked like I wet myself. Rafe still wasn't awake at 3am so I obviously woke my husband up and whispered: "He's still asleep." "So why am I awake?" Good question. Then instead of trying to go back to sleep I pretty much watched Rafe stir until he finally woke. I wish I'd gone to bed at 8pm. Imagine that. I would have had SEVEN HOURS SLEEP. I hoped the following night he would do the same but he was up at 12.30am then 4.30am. I know he can do a much longer stretch as he doesn't always have a full feed (both boobs) in the night but I know he's still young to sleep through. I just wish he was a little more consistent - very selfish of him to not stick to my ideal sleeping patterns. One of my friends said her son didn't sleep through till he was FOUR. FOUR! I'll have none of that nonsense please. I am in two minds about trying to do a dream feed - some people have told me yes - others no. I'm just scared to wake him! Especially if he's in a deep sleep. Any advice from others would be great! Another reason Rafe is not sleeping is he is so windy. After trying everything we have gone back to Infacol. It seems to work well during the day but during the night he seems to be extra windy and nothing we can do helps. Any advice?
I start my baby classes next week which I'm excited about. On a Monday we do sing and sign, a Thursday baby yoga and Friday is Hartbeebs - sensory and singing. Looking forward to meeting other mums - just hope they all have monobrows too.
Happy weekend! Faye x
Royal Marine Wife. Mum to Rafe.