My friend put it perfectly when she said: "When you have a baby you realise how much you hate your husband....a little." I hear you! Case in point: Husband comes in the other day after staying on camp as was boozing till 4am. Rafe had been fussy all morning, I'd not had a shower and had scared the Avon lady half to death when I went to the door looking like Hagrid with nappies down my top (to prevent leaking - not a fashion statement) and Rafe was due a feed but just wanted to scream. Husband smells like a stale pub floor and he asks: "Will you go get me a KFC?" ERM Sorry what? "I just thought you might want to get out the house while I look after the dog and Rafe - it's a nice gesture." OH WOW. THANK YOU! I'd love to spend any free time I have driving to KFC. Jog on pet. Know what I mean now? Teeny bit of hate.
So we moved back to the North East on the weekend. Was slightly stressful but my dad was a hero and helped us move. The car journey wasn't too bad. Just had to stop a couple of times to feed Rafe in the back of the car. Only ended up flashing my boobs to a handful of lorry drivers so it was a good day. I think Rafe got motion sickness or was really unsettled as that evening he projectile vomited for the first time all over Chris. 🙈 Was so sad to leave Arbroath as had such an amazing time there and met some lovely people. It will always hold a special place in my heart as it was our first married home and of course where Rafe was born. We are staying with my parents until we save some money and find a house. They are thrilled to have their Grandson and our dog stay with them - not so excited about me I think....🙈We've been away for so long it still hasn't hit me we are staying for good. So used to thinking we have a few days to rush around and see as many people as possible and then leave. So It's just lovely to be back in Geordieland!
I had my haircut on Tuesday. It was so good to feel almost human again. I was a bit traumatised as had to get quite a bit taken off as my hair is falling out and keeps getting matted. Another delightful thing to deal with postpartum. Apparently it will get worse when I stop breastfeeding - the joys. I was quite anxious as it was the longest I had left Rafe and although it was only for a few hours I missed him. But at the same time, it was so nice to get pampered and have a good gossip. And to not look like I'd been dragged through a hedge backwards - like I do most days. After I scared the Avon lady the other day (no joke - I went to the door and told her to wait as needed to grab keys but when I got back she was half way up the street 😂) I thought I best look in the mirror. The person that looked back at me I barely recognised. I had one eyebrow. My hair looked like straw and was matted on the top of my head. I had two nappies stuffed into a stained with milk nursing top I'd had on for days. The hairs on my chin that appeared when I was pregnant (cheers hormones) were still there. (How am I still married?) My legs were as hairy as my husband's. My grey hair could give Philip Schofield a run for his money. My tummy still looked like a bag of sand. I had bags under my eyes and blotchy skin. I basically looked like shit. People say you need to look after yourself once baby arrives but you are the bottom of your priority list. I haven't the energy to shave my legs. The few times I've worn makeup felt like an epic to do. I've never been one to wear makeup everyday but I did enjoy getting dressed up for a night out. Getting dressed up now is washing and brushing my hair. But I must say, it felt so good to get my hair done. Just need to take a lawnmower to my legs, get waxed, fix my eyebrows, pluck my chin (FML) and wear a top that doesn't open at the front or sides and I will be me again. Oh and to lose another stone and a half. (Diet starts after Christmas obviously.) Although my mum did tell me I have lost weight - well she said I didn't have a fat face anymore so good to know I had a fat face before. Cheers mum.
We have an appointment at the Freeman Hospital next Friday to find out more about the hole in Rafe's heart. I feel worried but glad we get to speak to a consultant before the New Year so I will keep you updated.
This will be my last post before Christmas (how fast has this year gone?) so just wanted to wish you all a Merry Christmas. Hope you all have a great one and eat as much as I plan to do. And please get drunk for me! (He still won't take a bottle 😩) So excited for our first family Christmas with the little one - makes my favourite time of year even more special.