So we have some news….
Two under two. A breeze right?
So yes, that pouch isn’t just chocolate, turkey and more chocolate. Baby number 2 is on the way! Just got over the slight suprise but feeling so very lucky. We weren’t exactly trying – but also not exactly being cautious. (You can fall pregnant when not using contraception you know? Who would have thought it?!) But I’m a firm believer in ‘what’s meant to be’ and this was a very lovely ‘surprise’. I’m almost 15 weeks now and this first trimester has well and truly kicked me in the metaphorical balls. I didn’t have much sickness with Rafe but I am still being sick most mornings – but on a positive note, I just tend to wretch throughout the day and not actually be sick so winning on that front. I can eat – it’s just hit or miss whether I might barf or not. But I know some women can't even keep anything down and are so poorly so I know I'm lucky I'm not as bad as that. Pregnancy is so glamourous right? But I must admit, it has been quite a challenge looking after Rafe, especially when I’m breastfeeding and feeling/about to be sick but thankfully my husband has been back over Christmas so has been a huge support. And even though I feel like I was pregnant just yesterday, I have forgotten how exhausted you feel. And would you believe, these past two weeks where I haven't been able to sleep, RAFE HAS BEEN SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT. I know, shut the front door. Finally! But I have major pregnancy insomnia + feeling sick + nèeding a wee + waking up expecting Rafe to wake up but hey, Rafe is sleeping through so let’s all have a moment of contemplation here to reflect on how this is an ACTUAL MIRACLE. I wish I could share some words of wisdom but it just happened. Yes, I’m annoying I know. But there is hope!! The only thing I do differently is the humidifier I would only use if Rafe had a cold, is always on every night. He has mostly been in his 3.5 tog sleeping bag as it really has been getting quite nippy in his room – and I guess we have been so busy he has been worn out most days. So don't know if any of these things have helped. But hoping we have just turned a new corner and he has finally learnt that sleeping is AMAZING. Still hates naps though. But hey, can’t win them all can you?
So yes, this pregnancy is already feeling so different. I feel so guilty saying this but unlike last time, where I was taking bump pictures every week, checking what size baby is, I keep forgetting this time round. Having a toddler – plus working and putting on 50 loads of washing a day kind of takes over. It’s like I sometimes forget I am pregnant, if it wasn’t for the being sick every morning, I think some days I would forget. Other mums have reassured me that this is normal and second pregnancy and baby is so different – but of course not less special. I’m just taking each day as it comes. I haven’t even thought as far ahead as the birth yet, I don’t know whether that is me subconsciously doing this because of what happened during labour with Rafe or simply because I just haven’t thought about it. It’s hard when it’s so early on, I remember it was only until after the 20-week scan with Rafe I started thinking – oh I’m having a baby. I'm really trying to be as positive as I can right now and focus on how very lucky we are but know I can get support if I need it.
I do feel worried about Rafe though. It might be the hormones but I do get so emotional thinking about how Rafe will cope when baby arrives. I just don’t want him to feel left out. He’s still my baby! I know having two so close together will be lovely for them (I think it’s another boy) and he will love being a big brother, but I do worry. But I plan to just try and chill the fuck out and try not to worry. But anyone who knows me will know I am chief worrier of the worriers...and my hormones are on another level right now!
So...the past two weeks. We’ve had such lovely family time. (Hope you all had an amazing Christmas and Happy New Year! How fast did it go? I swear I blinked and was back to work.) Rafe seems to have changed so much in such a short space of time. He’s still not walking yet but is more confident on his feet and he is chatting more (he basically has just been saying mum, mum, mum over and over, but has started saying dad, dada, hiya and then random other babbles). And he’s laughing so much more. He’s gone from being quite a serious baby to just giggling away which is just so special. He’s just turned into a proper toddler. And has developed a little temper. Not quite a tantrum but if he gets frustrated or you tell him no, he does this hilarious facial expression and basically has a little huff. I’ve been warned the terrible two tantrums are on another level though...
We had him at the doctors this week as he has had a little rash on his face for weeks but just thought it was sensitive skin as would come and go, but it got quite bad over Christmas so we have some steroid cream for him. Felt major guilt for not taking him sooner but hopefully it will clear up in the next few days. I feel like I have loads more to tell you/I have rambled on but I have also forgot what day it is – but baby news is pretty big announcement ay?!
My husband is overseas for a bit which has been a little unsettling for Rafe these past couple of days. Obviously he doesn’t understand but we’ve been so lucky to have my husband around for three weeks as the week before Christmas he was working in the North East so was able to bath Rafe every night and then for two weeks over the hols, he was with Rafe pretty much all day everyday. It’s hard as you get so used to them being around when they are on leave and then when they go away again, you have to get back into your old routine of just you. And baby and dog. It's hard/sad/lonely but you soon do. And you've just got to get on with it. I feel upset for Rafe as know he misses him in his own way even though he doesn’t know what it means but I play a video of his dad every morning and night and his little face just lights up. I know my husband will find it hard too but sure the time will whizz by. In the meantime – I need box set/series/documentary suggestions please?!
So I think that's it for this week...So yes, my blog will take a slightly different turn, it will be a mix of the adventures of life with a toddler, being pregnant and then when baby number 2 comes – what life is like with two under two....A pretty amazing adventure. But maybe a little bit tough?