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I can't get no sleep...

5/9/2019

8 Comments

 
The stages of sleep....
Newborn – Doesn’t sleep, though surprisingly more than you think.
1-3 months – Yup, still not sleeping.
4 months – THE FOUR-MONTH SLEEP REGRESSION WILL END YOU.
5-8 months – You may get the odd glimmer of a good stretch of sleep. Hold on.
9-10 months – Yup, ANOTHER sleep regression.
12 months – Kind of turning a corner some nights...
18 months – All hope is lost. Yes. That’s right. Another sleep regression. And teething. Oh teething. Getting a toddler to sleep is like being in the Battle of Winterfell.
Help....
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I naively thought that sleep regressions would be a thing of the past but oh no, seems like Rafe’s inability to actually get to sleep, could be because of a regression. Apparently a toddler’s new found independence – and also separation anxiety – and teething (has to come in threes) could cause coffee in eyelids moments. I mean nothing is as bad as the four-month sleep regression (shiver) and although some nights when I finally get Rafe down, he does sleep through (Amen), getting him to sleep is like, as I said – a fucking battle. It’s difficult as since I have stopped breastfeeding, the go-to method of getting Rafe down is to cuddle him to sleep. Which honestly, of course I don’t mind doing. However, the past few weeks this is taking longer and longer – a good one to two hours to get him down. He’s tired and pretty much falls asleep in my arms quite quickly but as soon as I move to put him down he is wide-awake and kicking off. Or if I do get him down, within 15-minutes he is up again (normally just as I am about to eat my tea). Then I need to repeat the whole process again. It might not be a sleep regression as he is teething and has had a snotty nose and cough but the separation anxiety makes sense as he just does not want me to leave him. And I’m not saying I don’t want to cuddle him to sleep but I’m pretty huge now and finding it difficult to get comfortable and maneuver him into his cot without needing a crane to get me up. And in a few weeks-time, I won’t be able to sit for two hours to get Rafe to sleep – there will be a newborn on my boob. It’s just so hard as I feel guilty that I won’t be able to have those night-time cuddles, but the reality is, with husband away during the week, or sometimes months on end, I can’t split myself in two. And I just need to think of a way of getting Rafe to sleep without leaving him to cry for hours and will make us both happy. Leaving him to cry for 10/15 minutes does work sometimes and I don't mind leaving him for a short while but I just feel so bad leaving him to cry out any longer, especially when he is saying “mama, mama”, so I don’t know whether to try the put down, pick up method that seemed to work months and months ago. Or try something even more gentle? I can’t read another book though. Or google anymore! At the moment he has a bottle of milk in our room after his bath. I then read a story and he gets sleepy and then I go into his room and try and rock him to sleep. I don’t know whether to give him his bottle in our room – then move to his room to read story and then just cuddle for a little bit – put down and stay with him till he goes to sleep and then hopefully the time will get shorter and shorter??? Or maybe that’s just wishful thinking. HELP. PLEASE. What are your routines that work?
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Rafe is walking with confidence now and it’s so good to see – and a relief! Like I said last week, he is still walking with his feet turned inwards – but is getting better. Does anyone else’s little one do this? Anything you can do to help? He’s getting quite the temper on him too. Don’t know where he gets that from….He’s always had a tendency to bite when he gets excited but he is doing that more now (mostly just to me) and he is also pulling my hair. Literally holding on and not letting go. And he does this excited/angry face while he is doing it. And it bloody hurts! I know he doesn’t really understand that he is hurting me but want to put a stop to it before he does it to someone else/I lose my hair. It does seem to be when he gets excited, or he hasn’t seen me all day, so it is almost an affection thing. Just not sure how to get him to stop!
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I’m 33-weeks on Tuesday. Can’t believe it. Honestly this pregnancy has flown by. Though now I’ve said that, it’s probably going to drag now. I have 4-weeks left of work as of next week – which is crazy. Much tougher this time round, I feel like the way I feel and am now – is how I was right at the end of my pregnancy with Rafe. I also have a heaviness feeling down below which I’m sure I only got right at the end. Some days I wake up and it feels like I have been kicked down below. Sorry if TMI but if you know – you know. And I’m walking like John Wayne. Oh the glamour of being pregnant! It’s an absolute blessing but geez, it can knock you sideways somedays. I just generally look pretty rough too. I won’t be looking like Meghan a couple of days after the birth I tell you that! She looked amazing and did piss me off to read some comments about how she looked. One twat wrote: “I’m surprised she wore something so fitting when she still has quite a big tummy.” ERM. Excuse me? She could be wearing a bin bag mate – she’s just pushed a baby out of her vagina, she can wear what the fuck she wants. You just can’t win. Oh and love the name! We had Harrison on our list for boy’s names – though wasn’t top 3 so will let them off!
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31 weeks with Rafe (right) vs 32+4 with baby number 2!
Finally….I posted this same post around this time when I was pregnant with Rafe. Basically the old wives’ tale test to see whether I am having a boy or a girl – just for a bit of fun! Boy ‘won’ last time – and was right. What about this time round? What do you all reckon?

Old Wives Tale #1: Heart Rate
If the baby’s heart rate is above 140 bpm, it is said that the baby will be a girl. If it is under 140 bpm, then it will be a boy. Prediction outcome: Baby’s heartrate has either been 140, or above: GIRL.

Old Wives Tale #2: Shape of Belly
If you are carrying high with a big, round belly, you are having a girl. If you are carrying low with a smaller belly that sticks straight out, it’s a boy. Prediction outcome: I think my bump, although bigger than last time, is low so: BOY.

Old Wives Tale #3: Ring Test
Using a string, hang your wedding ring over your pregnant belly. You are having a girl if the ring swings back and forth and it’s a boy if it swings in a circle. Prediction outcome: BOY.

Old Wives Tale #4: Acne
If you have acne while pregnant, it’s a girl. It’s thought that acne during pregnancy is caused by the extra hormones. Prediction outcome: No acne: BOY.

Old Wives Tale #5: Cravings
People believe that if you are craving salty foods while pregnant, you can count on having a boy. If you crave sweets, fruit, and orange juice, you are having a little girl. Prediction outcome: Have been craving oranges quite a lot (as well as mountains of chocolate): GIRL.

Old Wives Tale #6: Skin under Left Eye
The eye test is when a “V” or “branches” appear when you pull down the skin under your left eye. If you see a “V” or “branches” in the white part, you’re having a girl. Prediction outcome: This is weird but I do see branches: GIRL.

Old Wives Tale #7: Time of Conception
The person that is most aggressive in bed at the time of conception is the opposite of what the baby will be. (I feel like nobody needs to know the answer to this one!) Prediction outcome: INCONCLUSIVE.

Old Wives Tale #8: Legs
If your legs get really big, you’re having a boy. If your legs stay in shape and lean, it’s a girl. Prediction outcome: Half and half really, bigger – but not massive – but not lean either! INCONCLUSIVE.


Old Wives Tale #9: Moodiness
If you are really moody, you are having a girl since you have extra girl hormones in you. Prediction outcome: Forever moody: GIRL.

Old Wives Tale #10: Chinese Gender Chart
The Chinese Gender Chart claims to have an accuracy rate of over 90%. It is based on how old the mother is at conception and the month that she conceived. Find out your prediction/or whether the Chinese Chart was right about your baby's gender here: https://www.thebump.com/chinese-gender-chart Prediction outcome: BOY

Old Wives Tale #11: Mum's Beauty
You are having a girl if your beauty disappears during pregnancy. It is said that the girl “steals” the mother’s beauty. If you think that pregnancy has never made you look more beautiful, a little boy it is. Prediction outcome: Ain’t looking my best. GIRL.

Old Wives Tale #12: Dream of Sex of Baby
If you have dreams that you are having a boy, you will have a girl. If you dream about having a girl, it will be a boy. Dreams show the opposite of what you are having. Prediction outcome: Mix of both, sometimes dream we are having a girl, sometimes a boy. The other day I dreamt I gave birth to girl triplets!! Prediction outcome: INCONCLUSIVE.

Old Wives Tale #13: Clumsy vs. Graceful
If the pregnant woman is graceful throughout her pregnancy, she’s having a girl. If she becomes clumsy, she’s having a boy. Prediction outcome: I will always be clumsy, without being pregnant! BOY.

Old Wives Tale #14: Side You Most Rest On
If a pregnant woman prefers to lay on her left side, she’s having a boy. If she prefers resting on her right side, she’s having a girl. Prediction outcome: BOY.

Old Wives Tale #15: Dad’s Weight Gain
If the dad-to-be gains weight while you are pregnant, it’s a girl. If he doesn’t gain weight, you’re having a boy. Prediction outcome: BOY.

Old Wives Tale #16: Breast Test
If a pregnant woman’s left breast is larger than the right breast, she’s having a girl. If the right breast is larger, it’s a boy. Prediction outcome: GIRL.

Old Wives Tale #17: What Do You Think?
71% of the time, the mom-to-be knows what she is having. Prediction outcome: BOY – though am wavering more than I did last time! Was strangely 100% certain Rafe was a boy – not as certain this time round.

Old Wives Tale #18: Morning Sickness
If you had a smooth pregnancy with no morning sickness, it’s a boy. If you were sick or felt really nauseous during your pregnancy, count on a girl. Prediction outcome: Much worse this time round: GIRL.

Old Wives Tale #19: Areolae
If your areolae have darkened, it’s a boy. If they haven't, it’s a girl. Prediction outcome: GIRL.

Old Wives Tale #20: Protein
When a pregnant woman craves meat and cheese, count on a boy. Prediction outcome: GIRL.

Old Wives Tale #21: Feet
Are your feet colder now that you are pregnant? If so, you just might be having a boy. If your feet have stayed the same before pregnancy and during, you’re having a little girl. Prediction outcome: GIRL.

Old Wives Tale #22: Headaches
If you are having headaches, you might be carrying a boy. Prediction outcome: BOY.

Old Wives Tale #23: Baby Names
It is said that when you can only think of specific names for a boy or a girl, you will have that particularly baby. Prediction outcome: BOY.


Old Wives Tale #24: Urine
What color is your pee? If it is bright yellow, you will have a little boy. If your urine is a dull yellow, plan on a girl. Prediction outcome: GIRL.

Prediction Outcome: GIRL (by one!)

So who knows?! Time will tell…

Till next time,

Faye x
8 Comments
Charlotte
5/12/2019 01:44:22 am

Wow I can’t believe there are that many old wives tales... no wait, I can!! Never heard of most of those! People are funny

I’d try milk wherever then story laid down in the cot and sit with him while he goes to sleep, then creep out. We’ve been trying this (minus story) for night time wakes that sounded the same with the separation anxiety, rather than getting her out. You could do this while holding or feeding the new baby too if you needed to x

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Faye
5/13/2019 06:57:12 am

I know - some of the old wives tales are hilarious! Thinking of doing a similar routine - so thank you. Just need to bite the bullet and do it! x

Reply
Fay
5/12/2019 03:24:57 am

Hello, William heads up to bed around 7 and normally doesn't have a bath. He swims a lot so has a shower afterwards. He maybe has one bath a week.
We have some calmer play upstairs and get undressed into pajamas and nappy change. Brush teeth. We read a book on his bedroom floor and he's offered water in between each of these tasks.
After a book on my lap he goes into his cot to read a final book. He has water at this point again. He gives each of his toys a little 'drink' then we sing a song and the lights go off half way through the song.

We sing one final song and I remind him that I'm leaving the room after the song. Song finishes one final hug and then I say goodnight.

He will check I haven't completely disappeared by one of two calls of 'mummy?' to which I reply night time William but don't go back in. And then I watch him on the monitor snuggle down for the night.

The leaving the room part has been part of the routine for the nap and bedtime for 3 weeks now and for the first week I did go back in each time he called for me and I just said I'm only in my room William you're not alone. Then gradually his checking was reduced to one or two calls to check without me having to go back in.

I think to be honest he was just ready for this, if I had tried it without him being ready there is no way it would have worked. It's just developed from his routine when he was tiny- that included several breast feeds too! They slowly reduced and about 5 months ago he wasn't looking for milk at bed time at all just water from a 360 cup.
He hasn't fed from me since Thursday morning (not my idea but he's just not asked) and so I really am.a firm believer that I couldn't do anything until he was entirely ready I would just be fighting a losing battle.

Whatever you do will be right for Rafe, because he's your son. If leaving him for a bit works for you then it works for him because whatever books, advise or whatever you try or read, you will go back to what feels right for you and him at 4 am when you are tired. We all do. And that's okay. Because it's right for our child.

Xxx

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Faye
5/13/2019 06:59:28 am

Thank you Fay. I kind of know in my head what I want to do/think Rafe is ready for. Just need to be brave and do it! Your routine sounds so lovely. Keep your fingers crossed for me! xxx

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Caroline
5/12/2019 02:59:32 pm

Hi Fay,

My son's feet turn in when he walks as well. We ended up seeing a physio a few months ago when he was 16 months because I was getting worried about his lack of walking. She said that a lot of babies/toddlers feet do it and generally it is normal and they grow out of it. Although for my son, because he has really flexible ankles she recommended orthodic insoles and footwear that gives ankle support, i.e boots. If you are worried maybe ask a health visitor? That's how we got our referral to a physio.

Our night time routine is bath, then into his room for a story, then I kiss his cuddly toys, then he does and then I give him a big kiss and say goodnight and put him down in his cot. But we have done this for a long time so he is used to it. He generally goes to sleep but does sometimes cry. When he cries we normally give him 10 minutes to give him chance to go to sleep then after that I go back and cuddle him. I think you have to do what works for you and if you want to change it maybe just do it gradually.

Take care xxx

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Faye
5/13/2019 07:01:55 am

Thank you Caroline. So reassuring re. walking. As he gets more confident in the next week or so, going to see what he is like and if still concerned, think you're right - will speak to my HV.

And thank you for sharing your routine. I think I just need to bite the bullet and try settling him gently to a new routine and go from there. Wish me luck! xx

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Becca
5/14/2019 08:28:24 am

My 14 month old goes to bed fine, it's the waking up in the night that's the problem. One thing that has helped though is playing white noise in his room on the iPad.

We tried this when he was a baby and it didn't work, but for some reason is helping him now. I think it stops him from waking a every little noise, so that when he does wake it is because he wants to feed or wants comfort. There is a specific white noise video on Youtube for babies and toddlers that plays continuously for about 12 hours.

Reply
Faye
5/20/2019 01:06:48 am

Hey,

So sorry for late reply. White noise is a saviour! Though I must have spent a small fortune on white noise toys and machines. Youtube videos would have been better and cheaper!! We have Ewan the Sheep and a white noise machine that plays continuous. x

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    Royal Marine Wife. Mum to Rafe.

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