Here we fucking go again. I think my introduction to the four month sleep regression with Rafe was something along the lines of ‘help, I’m pouring coffee into my fucking eyeballs’. Which really is the perfect way to introduce the four month sleep regression. Throw in a snotty nose and well, we are pretty fucked. (Disclaimer: I say the f word a lot in this post). I remember thinking with Rafe if we were lucky to have another baby I would make sure they can self settle early on so we wouldn’t be hit in the face with this regression. HAHAHAHAHAHAAHA ok then pet. Anything for an easy life and I know what works – boob and cuddled to sleep – just like Master Rafe. It's hard to try and let Elijah cry a little as petrified he will wake Rafe so as soon as he wakes (normally 30 minutes after I’ve put him down – just like Rafe did), I am sprinting up the stairs like Usain Bolt to avoid two children having a meltdown and me crying into the biscuit tin. With the poor fella full of cold – still – he is so unsettled too. Went to the doctors but they said it was just a virus – oh good old viruses. So as well as Rafe picking up nursery germs – he is bringing them straight back to Elijah. Trying to remember – all good for the immune system in the long run but it’s difficult to think positively when you haven’t slept since 2017. The only way he does settle for a longer stretch is if he is next to me. But it's like a Russian Roulette every night - up every hour one night, has two hour stretches the next. Either way we ain't get much beauty sleep - hello bird lady from Home Alone 2. We meet again. I always tried to avoid getting into the routine of bringing Rafe into bed with me, one because I was so paranoid about co-sleeping and two I didn’t want to make it difficult to get him in his cot. But with Elijah, it just seems to work that way and if he settles by me (obvs make it safe for him to sleep by me) I will do anything to help him get some sleep – and me of course. I know I’m probably going against all the baby book advice and I need to try and get him to self settle but sometimes you’ve got to just do what works for you and your baby – at that moment in time. And right now it's just about us both getting some sleep and I’d sleep upside down on my head if it helped. Just kind of forgot how brutal this stage was, think I blocked it out – and how a cold can really wipe out a baby. I also just feel like....am I doing something wrong to be going through this all again? At a baby class this week I seemed to be surrounded by babies who are younger than Elijah and are sleeping through. Took all my strength not to yell – WHAT THE FUCK?!! Please can someone remind me that other babies don’t sleep too?! Just trying to remember the four month sleep regression doesn’t last forever – then it’s the 8 month....and Rafe does sleep well now but took a good year and a bit. It’s ok though – coffee into my fucking eyelids is how to survive!
Rafe has had horrendous diarrhoea this week. Poor thing woke up the other day and he must have been sleeping in it for a little while. When I picked him up he was covered from head to toe. Had to put him straight in the bath while trying not to cry with guilt as he had basically been sleeping in his own poo. Mum of the year! Had him at the doctors too as they wanted to see him as his poo was really pale in colour but again – said it was just a virus. But then we had a proper scare on Thursday. He was with my mother-in-law and sister-in-law and out of the blue just started hyperventilating and couldn’t breathe. My sister-in-law is a nurse and also the kind of person who you would want to be with when this kind of thing happens as just so calm. She managed after five minutes to get Rafe’s breathing back to normal. Then he started hyperventilating again but managed to regulate breathing and rang me and we took him to hospital where he was running around like nothing had happened. Despite giving us all a mini heart attack they were not concerned and after doing his observations they couldn’t say what had happened but that it might have been him spiking a temperature which caused the hyperventilating. No other symptoms apart from diarrhoea to cause concern (he hadn't just eaten anything to cause a reaction). It’s just hard as you I an relieved he is ok but also such a worry as I don’t know what caused it for certain. But he is ok now and all that matters. Just a constant worry every second of the day. Has anyone else’s toddler had something similar happen?
On a positive note Rafe had his two year check up with his health visitor and there were no concerns and really happy with how he is getting on. How ridiculous were some of the questions though? ‘If you put a raison in a bottle, will you child try and get it out?’ Erm, don’t think we have tried that one. After going from worrying about his speech months ago, he seems to have come on so much in the last couple of months and just goes to show that all children develop at different rates and on the most part, you don’t need to worry. But you do obviously. Once they are running round the school yard nobody is going to be able to tell who walked at 10 months or who walked at 19 months – or who said their first words later than everyone else. There is just feel this pressure to hit these milestones – which I know are there in place for a reason but it doesn’t half stress you out. Like Elijah has rolled over both ways – but has decided he doesn’t want to do it anymore and now I’m stressing about that which is ridiculous. Honestly need some vodka in my coffee I think.
Thank you for all your messages about Yankee. He is thankfully back to his old mad self! Fingers crossed whatever had caused the abscess and damage to the throat was completely removed during the surgery. Such a worry but feel very lucky he is ok.
I wish I could keep up with the weekly blog posts but been a bit full on the past few weeks so might have to be once a month – with little posts in-between – as long as people are still enjoying reading! Always grateful for everyone’s messages – always good to know I’m not the only one covered in poo and sick – and surviving on coffee!
Till next time,
Royal Marine Wife. Mum to Rafe.