How am I actually in my third trimester already? How am I waddling already? Why can’t I stop eating? Why did the midwife make me go back on the scales again as couldn’t believe I’d put on that much weight? Why do I feel so emotional thinking Rafe will feel left out when baby comes? How will I do bath time with me, baby and toddler? How will I breastfeed and get a toddler to sleep at the same time? How does two under two actually work? Is there a manual? Thought so – you just wing it right? And I guess wine helps?
So yes, a few questions swilling around in my little head right now. But it’s pretty exciting right? 10 weeks to go…
So I feel like I have a novel to write after two weeks off. We did a lot as a family, had work done on the house (not stressful at all) and also had some well-deserved husband and wife time. I’ve said it many times before but having a baby can really affect your relationship – and put strain on you both. We take on this parent role – and sometimes we forget we are also husband and wife. We spent two nights away from Rafe, visiting a friend and her gorgeous newborn in London. It was the longest I had been away from Rafe and I was quite apprehensive and did miss him. But was just what my husband and I needed. It sounds cheesy but it was like we reconnected again – we laughed, didn’t bicker, talked about past adventures, chatted shit and just enjoyed each other’s company – with no distractions. It’s good to remember why you fell in love with someone – and also to be reminded why you enjoy each other’s company. I know it’s going to be difficult to get away when baby number 2 comes, but I know we must try and have our alone time as it’s so important. Or I will end up divorcing him for leaving old reciepts round the house.
Oh Rafe. What has the dude been up too? Well he is still teething and still has a bit of a cough that seems to be never ending. He went to the dentist the other day and she said, rather surprised, that he basically nearly had all his teeth, about 5 to go. So no wonder he has been so upset – they must all have come in at once. She said it’s the canines to come in next which can be mother fuckers. (Not quite her use of words). So he’s not a happy chappy some nights, but hopefully they will be in ASAP. It’s affecting his sleep, but he’s not been too bad. He is just going through a stage where I will cuddle him to sleep – and then within an hour, he is up screaming and I need to cuddle him back down. I don’t know whether it is teething, or him waking up and me not being there – yet after that, he sometimes has been sleeping through. Who knows? I do worry about how I’m going to deal with cuddling Rafe to sleep – and with a newborn on my boob. Do I need to try and do some type of sleep training I mentioned a few weeks ago? (But then feel bad as I don't want to not cuddle him.) I won’t have my husband around to help so I’m kind of shitting it a bit. And how will I do bath-time? Have baby and toddler in bath together? Single parent’s/military spouses/partners work away – how do you do two?! I’m thinking I just need to stop stressing before baby has arrived but as you all know, I like to be organised and have a plan – even if it doesn’t go to plan, it helps to feel prepared! Even though I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing half the time...
I'm feeling quite emotional about how baby number 2’s arrival will affect Rafe. He is so used to having everyone’s attention – especially mine, just focused on him. I don’t know how he will be when he sees me holding, nursing or cuddling his baby brother and sister. I also feel, I don’t want say sad, but I’m just trying to enjoy our alone time as much as I can as I know that we won’t get this time back and just Rafe and mum time will be few and far between. I know children are more adaptable than adults and I’m sure he will be an amazing big brother, I guess it’s all hormonal too but any reassurance would be appreciated!
Both Rafe and I have put on weight. Yey, to Rafe! They aren’t concerned about his weight now as moved up on to 25th centile, health visitor just wants to see him again in a couple of months. I knew it was because he had been poorly on and off for months but you obviously still worry. Me on the other hand – I feel like a whale. I had my 28-week midwife appointment last week and this is how the conversation went:
Midwife: “Just need to weigh you to make sure you haven’t put on a lot of weight but you look fine.”
Hop on scales.
Midwife: “That can’t be right. It says you have put on 13kg. Jump back on again.”
Midwife: “Nope, that’s right…”
So basically have put on two stone. She wasn’t concerned as still in normal BMI range and I don’t necessarily think I look really heavy – it’s all just boobs and bump. I think…I never was weighed again with Rafe after my booking appointment and I never weighed myself so I have no idea how much I put on. I do feel much bigger this time round and so much more pregnant than I did at this stage last time. I know some women put on hardly any weight, some women put on a few stone – it is what it is. I’m still doing yoga and walking and eating healthy (ish)/the world’s allocation of chocolate every night and as long as I don’t put on 10 stone and putting baby and my health in danger, I’m not going to stress about it. But will try not to eat all the Easter eggs in one day...
Rafe is getting so much more confident walking now. He still falls over and is wobbly, but he is shooting off on his own and wanting to be up on his feet. I knew he wouldn’t just start walking and be a pro, so I’m guessing he will be confident in a month or so? It’s just good to see him on his feet and one less thing for me to have a nervous breakdown/google stress about!
So yeah, a lot going on. Mostly in my head! But as much as I am slightly nervous about baby number 2’s arrival. I am flipping excited. And feel very lucky.
And looking forward to wine.
Till next time,
P.s enjoy the sunshine! Just what sleeping bag should Rafe go in now??! It never ends haha.....
Royal Marine Wife. Mum to Rafe.