10 WAYS YOU KNOW YOU HAVE A TODDLER DURING LOCKDOWN

1. You know Moana word by word – including The Rock's rap. ‘Kid, honestly I could go on and on...’
2. Photos of you baking with your darling child are all smiles - but in reality your kitchen looks like a scene from Scarface.
3. You decide this is a good time to potty train (because you aren’t stressed enough) and ‘find the poo' is a new, hands-on game for the whole family.
4. Screen time allowance has gone up by 8-hours a day.
5. Your house is utter chaos. UTTER CHAOS.
6. Those vegetables or sunflowers you decided to plant and nurture together as a family – well, they’re dead.
7. Arts and crafts is basically you wrestling with a freakishly strong toddler to stop eating the: playdoh, glue, paper, stickers, sellotape, glitter. DO NOT GET THE GLITTER OUT.
8. You overhear your toddler asking whether it’s 'too early for wine'?
9. You no longer have the energy to refuse toddler's demands so they are naked most days on a staple diet of biscuits, chocolate buttons and yogurts.
10. One for my husband if he is reading: ​Can you stop breathing so loud please? Thank you bye.