1. YOU WERE NEVER FAT
You will look back at old photos and say ‘if only I looked like that now!' Until you have a baby bump stopping you from seeing your vagina and feet, you realise how much you wish you had been kind to your pre-pregnancy body.
2. WOMEN'S BODIES ARE AMAZING
You will appreciate your body much more. Carrying a baby, giving birth – whether that be VBAC or c-section, it is incredible what a woman’s body is capable of.
3. YOU WERE NEVER TIRED
So remember when you didn’t have kids and you used to say to your friends with kids you were tired? They weren’t looking at you in sympathy, they wanted to punch you in the face. You were never tired. Five-hours sleep is a blessing.
4. YOU JUDGED
You know that woman in a restaurant looking at you because your kids have an iPad? You too judged. You thought you would parent differently. You will never know how much an iPad can save your life until you know!
5. 2.30AM IS NO LONGER COOL
Rolling in at 2.30am with a kebab stuck to your hair was once a sign of a good night but when you see 2.30am now, it means cluster feeding, or sleep regressions, or teething, or an angry toddler wanting you to sing Fireman Sam.
6. YOU’VE NEVER HAD A HANGOVER THAT HURTS
You thought you’d had epic hangovers before but having a hangover with children who want to jump on your head at 6am when you’re hungover is a hurt like no other. Hangovers and kids to do mix.
7. YOU BECOME A POO EXPERT
Is it black? Is it green? Yellow? Oooh, a bit mustardy that one. WOW, that’s a massive poo their kid – high five!
8. A QUIET NIGHT IS NOT BORING
Gone are the days you would be itching to get to the pub over a night in-front of the TV but sometimes leaving the house and having to brush your hair is more of an effort than you can imagine.
9. QUICKIES AREN’T WANT THEY USED TO BE
A good old quickie with your partner isn’t as fun as it used to be. It’s an eye on the door and the baby monitor – you know, passion at its best. (Soz mum!)
10. YOU’RE NOT THE MUM YOU THOUGHT YOU WOULD BE
And that’s ok. You’re the mum you were supposed to be. Nothing can prepare you for having children. You're a superhero.
Royal Marine Wife. Mum to Rafe.